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Instead of “…pick up some soda for me.”, the request should be, “We’re out of soda. When you can finally break through the chains, and find some free time for yourself, be prepared: your controlling boyfriend will interrogate you when you return.

Combat veteran John Parker didn’t attack the gunman at Oregon’s Umpqua Community College in early 2015.You may not feel like going to a movie, but it is what he wants to do, for example.Also, his turning down an offer to do what you would like is a key sign that he is not flexible.“The notion that you have a seal of approval just because you’re not a criminal — that you walk into a gun store and you’re ready for game day — is ridiculous,” said David Chipman, a former SWAT team member with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.It’s widely accepted in law enforcement that improperly trained civilians often do more harm than good when trying to help at crime scenes.

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