Deep dating

Growing up, my dark skin was automatically equated with ugliness in the eyes of most of my peers.Children are always the subject of ridicule but when you have skin the color of p.m., you are exposed to a different type of mockery.Even though they saw my dark skin as a sign that I didn’t deserve the best, I knew I did!When I was dating guys outside of my race that was a whole other mess. I could come over to the house and hang but not meet the family.These men fetishized my skin and black girl features in private, but didn't value me enough to involve me in their public lives.They thought by calling me chocolate, and African Queen that they would compensate for all the other things they were lacking.That is not love and I had to learn not to let their attention blind me from seeing their true intentions.

Also, when I realized the light skin women they idolized online looked nothing like women they pursued in real life I knew that there was some deep-rooted insecurities on their side that I wanted no part in. These guys seemed to expect that I would be extremely insecure and self-conscious.Dating, in general, is hard — but dating as a dark skin black women has come with hardships I never expected.I don’t want to make it seem like other women don’t struggle but when you fit the mainstream beauty standards you are already one point up.I feel like all women go through this, especially women of color.Some men think we are a joyride, an experience, an adventure- we are not.

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